"The Damn Thing" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 Finale Recap

Recapping the five-hour, two-night finale, in all its chaos and controversy. How do we think ABC handled Arie's change of heart? Should Becca and Arie's breakup have been televised? What do we expect from Bachelorette Becca? Has there ever been a less enthusiastic crowd to witness a live proposal? Plus: A loaded Rosebag.

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"I Love You. And You. And Also You." | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E9 Recap

In keeping with recent 'Bachelor' tradition, Arie professed his love to more than one woman in Peru, further complicating the overnight dates. Plus: Becca's (lunatic?) ex-boyfriend travels halfway across the world in desperate Hail Mary attempt to rekindle their love — but not before trimming his beard to perfection. 

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"We're Not Doing A Skit" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E8 Recap (Hometowns)

We were promised confrontation, and ABC did not deliver. In a mostly unmemorable Hometowns episode, Arie managed to win over every family from the East coast to the West. After a shocking rose ceremony, who do we think will be wearing some Neil Lane at the end of all this? Plus: Some Winter Games talk and a loaded Bouquet.

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"Don't Know What To Tell Ya" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E7 Recap

Contender sacrifice, cats and dogs living together ... mass hysteria! The last episode before hometowns was filled with surprises. Seemingly weak connections were solidified while relationships that steadily grew for months were shattered in an instant. Should Arie have kept Seinne or Bekah? Is Lauren B. a serious contender? All that, and a breathtaking text hits the Bouquet. 

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"Did She Spin?" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E6 Recap

Surprising contenders emerged from two one-on-one dates this week, but the real story of Paris is Krystal's shocking (to her, at least) departure. Kendall the wacky taxidermy enthusiast has morphed into the leading voice of reason and we are left with seven fabulous women who, to hear AB tell it, are far superior to our aging lead.

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"Krystal Musk" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E5 Recap

Fun. Passionate. Sad. Emotional. Excited. Futuristic. These are just a few of the different layers Krystal revealed to Arie in the latest breathtaking episode of 'The Bachelor." From the beautiful waters of Fort Lauderdale to the posh lobby of their hotel in Fort Lauderdale, this week was a whirlwind of love, drama, and outright deceit. The days of Chelsea's villainy have disappeared over the horizon in our rear view mirrors, and Tia has stepped to the fore by becoming the first to "profess her love" for Arie. Make of those quotation marks what you will. 

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"Wag Of The Finger! (On Paper)" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E4 Recap

The follow-up to last week's dull episode was anything but: Krystal's ratcheted everything up a full notch, Bekah finally revealed what should have been obvious to Arie (she's pretty young, dude), and Seinne secured a one-on-one date with enough heartfelt moments for a nice Bachelorette highlight reel. Plus: A chaotic outdoorsy group date nearly takes a fatal turn. 

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"Kisses Used To Mean Something Around Here!" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E3 Recap

It was a tough week for Arie guys such as ourselves. Our fearless lead just kind of floated through the episode, showing little interest in the group date activities and spending more than half of his alone time with his lips locked with the nearest warm body. Not even comedy legend Fred Willard could save one of the two disastrous group dates, which were not nearly as fun as Chris promised. Plus: Lauren's trainwreck of a one-on-one and the newest Annaliese phobia.

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"Shout Out Cardi B" | Rosecast S22 E2 Recap

Arie's second episode included some truly head-scratching one-on-one dates. Between Becca's jaw-dropping sugar daddy date and Krystal's private jet visit to Arie's hometown, it felt like ABC accidentally aired Week 8 instead of Week 2. Plus: Are we willing to make light of an alleged childhood bumper car trauma? And should ABC blur out some of the more intense makeout sessions?

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"An Ace Up Her Sleeve" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 Finale Recap

Emily's breakup with Arie was truly heartbreaking. But as she wept and he held back tears, Rim and AB wonder why he didn't see it coming. Plus: What has Emily been up to since breaking things off with Jef, this season's winner? (The way I wrote that sentence makes it seem as if Emily is our guest on this episode. She is not.) Also, Rim was apparently not speaking directly into the mic (rookie move smh) so he hereby apologizes for that. Thanks for listening. 

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"They Were Offered No Snacks!" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E6 Recap

Halfway through the season, Emily's patience is wearing thin. On two one-on-one dates, our lead refuses to award roses to both Friend Zone Travis and Ryan the trophy hunter. Will Arie, Jef, and Sean capitalize on their improved odds, or does John (?) have something up his sleeve?

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"Yeah, Not Gonna Apologize" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E5 Recap

Our biggest takeaways from this episode are 1) we need to get to London and 2) maybe don't besmirch the name of your potential future stepdaughter? Helicopter Kalon dug deep in the mud of the latter, and in the process got himself tossed off the show like a basketball coach who gets two quick technical fouls on purpose so he can make a dinner reservation. Also of note: Arie and Emily make out again. 

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"Doug's Not About To Get Bottle Service" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E4 Recap

Mr. "I Have Kids Okay!?" himself Doug manages to secure a one-on-one date rose from Emily, while the A-team trips over themselves scrambling for her attention on a nautical group date. Plus: the most pointless two-on-one in show history.

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"First Selfless, Then Cowardice" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E3 Recap

Recall the most impressive fireworks show you've ever seen. Something similar happened at the conclusion of Arie and Emily's first one-on-one date on a carousel in Dollywood, a theme park dedicated to a country music megastar whose work we are unfamiliar with

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