Vasyl Lomachenko's Uninjured Opponent Simply Quit

 AP

AP

Ukrainian junior lightweight Vasyl Lomachenko was so thoroughly dominant Saturday night, his clear-minded and physically healthy professional boxing opponent decided to pack his things and head home early.

For seven rounds, Nicholas Walters looked like a child trying to prevent his father from scoring on the basement Fisher-Price basketball hoop. Daddy Lomachenko could have dunked on him every time, but like any good parent, he toyed with Walters until the Jamaican completely lost interest in the game.

Walters didn't seem too bummed by the embarrassment:

"It wasn’t about quitting, right? If you look at the last round he caught me with some pretty good shots. I was hanging on just to survive the round. It would be stupid to continue."

"Axe Man" said this in his post-fight interview as boos rained down from the crowd. Unlike the frustrated six-year-old with the rubber ball, Walters still gets his check for $550,000.

 Nicholas Walters acknowledges the enraged fans in attendance/waves goodbye to his future earnings.  | HBO

Nicholas Walters acknowledges the enraged fans in attendance/waves goodbye to his future earnings.  | HBO

Can't blame the guy, really. It's a solid business strategy. Looking back, I probably should have required guaranteed payment from clients for my lawn mowing services as a 16-year-old. If my weedeater didn't start after one pull, please believe I would have bolted before trimming around the trees.

Highlights from the fight: