The Top 10 Year-End Lists Of The Year For 2017

Once again it was a big year for year-end lists. Lot of different things going on out there that you can rank on the web. Below is a list of the best year-end lists of the year, according to me, a guy on the internet. Thanks.

10. The Best Beards Of 2017 (SyFyWire)

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This list would be higher on my list, but they included three goatees. Goatees are not beards, in my opinion.


9. The 10 Best 'Carpool Karaoke' Moments Of 2017: Critic's Picks (Billboard)

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Maybe you have your own opinions about the best moments from the only semi-humorous thing James Corden has ever been involved with (imagine a comedian without an accent doing this commercial and let me know if it's funny), but serious things like this are best left to the critics. it's the Carpool Karaoke Critics Association, and buddy, you ain't qualified.


8. Top 25 Worst, Most Insecure Passwords Used in 2017 (CSO)

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In my online infancy, I relied on two passwords: 'Nabisco' (because I was eating Chicken In A Biskit at the time) and 'mayonaise' with one 'n'. Neither of those made this list, thank goodness. 'Mayonaise' is borderline un-crackable, because it's not a word. That's the key.


7. Brett White's Top 10 of 2017 (Decider)

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Love the ambiguity here. Top what? Movies? Moments, Regrettable hairstyles? I think that's Bob Newhart, and he's dead. So really it could be anything. Gonna have to scroll down to find out!!


6. From Blade Runner 2049 To Baby Driver: The Best Movie Trailers Of 2017 (Polygon)

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I watched the Super Bowl XXXVI in with pretty big group or people at a friend’s house. Of the many preposterously expensive advertisement spots, a teaser for the upcoming Incredible Hulk reboot stole the show. The screen flashed with a few frames from the movie in which Hulk hammer-throws a military tank. We were all-in! Yours truly even started a daily countdown in my AIM profile, which I had to keep manually updated because it was 2003. Six months later, after a baseball double-header in a town an hour away, we all met up at a local theater and saw the first showing of the movie at midnight that night. It was abysmal. As we spilled out into the parking lot, everyone blamed me for the hype. Then we had to stand around and wait for rides at three in the morning because we weren’t old enough to drive.

Folks, that was the best trailer of all time.


5. 30 Top Takes Of 2017 (CNN)

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A flawed list, to be sure (my enduring Boyhood take was once again snubbed), but still, it was a fun year to read people’s opinions on the president and kneeling football players. Even got a couple of open letters on this list! Love open letters.


4. The Top-Earning Dead Celebrities Of 2017 (Forbes)

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Silver lining for everybody who loses their shit whenever a celebrity passes away: dying is really great for their brands. Albert Einstein is still caking $10 mil and I'm not even sure why or how! (Probably something with Bitcoin.)


3. Top 10 Golf Controversies Of 2017 (Golfweek)

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Before you sneer something along the lines of, “Who cares about golf when there’s so many SERIOUS controversies IN THE REAL WORLD!!” recall that Lexi Thompson lost an LPGA major because some asshole watching on TV called in a rules violation that occurred the previous day. That’s madness! Unfortunately this list is the last of its kind, as Big Golf put the kibosh on listening to miserable fans who tattle on rule-breakers from the comfort of their spring-loaded microfiber recliners.


2. The 10 Best Romance Books of 2017 (Vulture)

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I'm not going to read a whole romance novel. And I'm still too proud to leaf through one at a Barnes & Noble. But on the web, I can get the titillating gist while remaining anonymous. Also I like to judge the covers. Negative points for depicting the man wearing a flowy white shirt that’s hanging off his shoulders with his forearms still in the sleeves. Have some originality please.


1. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's Top 10 Films and TV Shows of 2017 (The Hollywood Reporter)

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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the NBA's all-time leading scorer, would probably be a head coach right now if he didn't have a reputation for being prickly.  So instead he spends his free time like the rest of us: binge-watching Netflix while eating Reese's Puffs out of a cup. Kareem blesses us with his thorough and thoughtful critiques of twenty-nine movies and TV shows that came out in 2017. So if you ever wanted to know his thoughts on The Good Place, here they are. (Side note: His list was published before Bright came out on Netflix, so it goes without saying that it is null and void.)