"SECURE THE BAG ALERT" | 'BALLERS' S3 E2 RECAP

FOLKS THE NUMBER ONE PRESTIGE TV SHOW ON HBO SUNDAY NIGHTS IS BACK. THAT'S RIGHT, BALLERS, STARRING THE ROCK FROM THE SCORPION KING AS SPENCER STRASMORE, A FORMER FOOTBALL PLAYER WHO WENT BROKE AND NOW MANAGES CURRENT PLAYERS' MONEY. BUT DON'T LET THE EXPENSIVE CUSTOM TAILORED SUITS FOOL YOU, SPENCER IS STILL PRETTY BROKE.

IF YOU MISSED LAST WEEK'S RECAP, SPENCE ASKED A BIG CASINO GUY IF HE WANTED TO BRING AN NFL TEAM TO LAS VEGAS AND THE CASINO GUY WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT THAT'S BRILLIANT EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THAT EXACT IDEA FOR AT LEAST TWENTY YEARS.

NOW THAT YOU HAVE THAT CONTEXT WE CAN GO AHEAD AND SPEND THE ENTIRE SEASON IN VEGAS AND NEVER RETURN TO MIAMI AGAIN, AT LEAST UNTIL FLORIDA GETS THEIR DANG TAX INCENTIVES SORTED OUT. KANE IS IN THE BUILDING FOLKS.

  SOME OF YOU NON-BALLERS MIGHT NOT REALIZE IT BUT WAYNE CASINO HAS A BREATHTAKING RUBY POCKET SQUARE THE LIKES OF WHICH YOUR TOWN HAS PROBABLY NEVER SEEN.

SOME OF YOU NON-BALLERS MIGHT NOT REALIZE IT BUT WAYNE CASINO HAS A BREATHTAKING RUBY POCKET SQUARE THE LIKES OF WHICH YOUR TOWN HAS PROBABLY NEVER SEEN.

SUICIDE DOORS AND LOCKER ROOM TALK

WE OPEN IN THE HIGH ROLLER PARKING GARAGE AT THE COSMOPOLITAN WHICH HAS MARBLE FLOORS SO ALL YOU BROKE BOIS BETTER WIPE YOUR SHOES BEFORE SNEAKING IN HERE YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

BALLERS IN ATTENDANCE INCLUDE RICKY JERRETT (WHO IS WEARING A STUNNING PINK-AND-GREEN FLORAL PRINT SILK SMOKING JACKET THING HOLY CHRIST IT'S DAZZLING), RICKY'S BUDDY WHO SMOKES A LOT OF POT IDK I FORGOT HIS NAME, SPENCER STRASMORE THE FOOTBALL GUY, AND WAYNE HASTINGS JR. AKA BIG CASINO MAN. THE BOYS ARE RAZZING EACH OTHER ABOUT IMPREGNATING STRIPPERS AND SUCH (YOU KNOW HOW GUYS ARE) BUT ANY ASTUTE BALLERS FAN UNDERSTANDS THIS IS A CLEVER BIT OF FORESHADOWING ON THE PART OF THE WRITERS BECAUSE SPENCER IS PROBABLY STERILE.

  WHEN YOUR BOYS RAG ON YOU FOR POTENTIALLY FATHERING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK BUT IT CRUSHES YOU ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU CAN NEVER SIRE OFFSPRING.

WHEN YOUR BOYS RAG ON YOU FOR POTENTIALLY FATHERING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK BUT IT CRUSHES YOU ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU CAN NEVER SIRE OFFSPRING.

JOEY MASERATI HAS DIFFICULTY MULTITASKING

 BALLERS , ONLY ON HBO

BALLERS, ONLY ON HBO

BURIED IN A MOUNTAIN OF DEBT, SPENCER'S PARTNER JOE KRUTEL IS HOLDING DOWN THE FORT IN "MIAMI" AND MESSING UP A BUNCH OF STUFF AS USUAL. FIRST HE'S KIND OF CURT WITH THE OWNER OF THE GODDAMN DALLAS COWBOYS THEN HE SPOUTS SOME RUDE COMMENTS ABOUT KISAN TEAGUE, A CLIENT, BUT IT TURNS OUT KISAN IS IN JOE'S OFFICE A MERE TEN FEET AWAY AND CAN HEAR EVERYTHING HE'S SAYING LOL COME ON JOE. DO BETTER.

  FOR THE MOST PART  BALLERS  IS JUST ANGRY MEN YELLING INTO CELL PHONES IN DIFFERENT PLACES AROUND THE COUNTRY.

FOR THE MOST PART BALLERS IS JUST ANGRY MEN YELLING INTO CELL PHONES IN DIFFERENT PLACES AROUND THE COUNTRY.

  CLASSIC "WHITE GUY MISPRONOUNCES 'KISAN' EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS KISAN PERSONALLY" MIX-UP.

CLASSIC "WHITE GUY MISPRONOUNCES 'KISAN' EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS KISAN PERSONALLY" MIX-UP.

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT JOE KRUTEL SCENE WHERE HE FUCKS EVERYTHING UP DESPITE RELATIVELY NOBLE INTENTIONS.

CRIS CARTER SINGLE-HANDEDLY SETS BACK THE PROFESSION OF ACTING 80 YEARS

  THESPIANISM 101 COURTESY OF CRIS CARTER OF ESPN RADIO FAME

THESPIANISM 101 COURTESY OF CRIS CARTER OF ESPN RADIO FAME

FOR REASONS LEFT UNEXPLAINED, NFL HALL-OF-FAMER CRIS CARTER IS IN LAS VEGAS STAYING AT THE SAME HOTEL AS SPENCE AND WEARING A SUIT EVEN THOUGH IN REAL LIFE HE'D BE IN BASKETBALL SHORTS AND A WORN-OUT ESPN RADIO SHIRT HE BORROWED FROM GOLIC AFTER HIS INITIAL NUTRI-SYSTEM SLIM-DOWN.

SPENCE ROLLS IN AND EXCHANGES NATURAL PLEASANTRIES WITH HIS FORMER LEAGUEMATE BUT BEFORE THE TWO FORMER GLADIATORS ON THE GRIDIRON CAN REALLY CATCH UP ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF BALLIN', A FINE YOUNG LADY STROLLS INTO THE LOBBY LIKE HEY SPENCE WHY YOU ACTING LIKE YOU DIDNT SEE ME?

  FEMALE CHARACTERS DON'T REALLY GET A FAIR SHAKE ON THIS SHOW BUT HONESTLY FOLKS THIS WAS KIND OF A RUDE INTERRUPTION. EAVESDROPPING AND SHIT.

FEMALE CHARACTERS DON'T REALLY GET A FAIR SHAKE ON THIS SHOW BUT HONESTLY FOLKS THIS WAS KIND OF A RUDE INTERRUPTION. EAVESDROPPING AND SHIT.

TURNS OUT THIS WOMAN HAPPENS TO BE AN OLD FLAME OF SPENCE'S. FIND ME A ZIP CODE IN WHICH SPENCER STRASMORE HAS ZERO OLD FLAMES, YOU CAN'T. BUT THAT'S THE BALLER LIFESTYLE, KEEP UP OF MOVE OUT THE WAY.

IN THEIR BRIEF ENCOUNTER, THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN THESE TWO OOZES OFF THE SCREEN. MAYBE SPENCE WILL FINALLY SETTLE DOWN WITH A TRUE LOVE? WE'LL FIND OUT. BALLERS FOLKS, ONLY ON HBO.

  COUPLA GUYS BEIN' DUDES, HORSIN' AROUND AND WHAT NOT. CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER MAN HAHA.

COUPLA GUYS BEIN' DUDES, HORSIN' AROUND AND WHAT NOT. CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER MAN HAHA.

RICKY DOESN'T GAMBLE

RICKY IS IN A CASINO WITH HIS POTHEAD FRIEND BUT SAYS HE DOESN'T GAMBLE. THEY IMMEDIATELY GO TO A CRAPS TABLE AND BEGIN GAMBLING. 

CHARLES GREANE GETS A LESSON IN PUBLIC SPEAKING FROM HIS LOVELY WIFE

BLACK SWAN'S WIFE JULIE IS A DOCTOR SO SHE HAS TO DELIVER BAD NEWS ALL THE TIME, WHICH IS HELPFUL BECAUSE CHARLES REALLY BIFFED IT IN HIS BIG PRESS CONFERENCE DEBUT. DO BETTER, CHARLES.

AYE WHAT'S A GUY GOTTA DO TO GET A PRO FOOTBALL TEAM AROUND HERE HUH?

  HOW EVERY DUDE THINKS THEY LOOK WHEN THEY'RE IN VEGAS.

HOW EVERY DUDE THINKS THEY LOOK WHEN THEY'RE IN VEGAS.

SPENCE IS SOMEHOW PLAYING GOLF WITH THE MAYOR OF LAS VEGAS EVEN THOUGH HIS PECS HAVE TO HINDER HIS SWING AND HIS SHIRT APPEARS VERY RESTRICTIVE IN TERMS OF ARM MOVEMENT. 

SPENCE SEGUES BEAUTIFULLY FROM CASUAL GOLF TALK INTO FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT THE FEASIBILITY OF BRINGING A MULTI-BILLION-DOLLAR SPORTS FRANCHISE TO A DESERT GAMBLING HAVEN. SPENCER THINKS HE CAN "ALTER THE PERCEPTION OF VEGAS AS 'SIN CITY'" WHICH SEEMS LIKE JUST ABOUT THE DUMBEST IDEA IMAGINABLE. THE MAYOR KINDLY IGNORES THAT NOTION AND SAYS HEY YOU GOTTA CONVINCE CONCILMAN BOB TO USE PUBLIC MONEY OTHERWISE THIS WHOLE SHIT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. SPENCE IS THE HOTTEST MOST GREGARIOUS 45-YEAR-OLD MAN ALIVE SO HE'S LIKE I CAN DO IT.

IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT DESPITE MAJOR DIFFERENCES IN BOTH AGE AND STATURE THERE IS STILL A PALPABLE AMOUNT OF SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN THESE TWO. SPENCER IS IRRESISTIBLE. SHAME HE'S (PROBABLY) STERILE.

JASON IS POLITELY ROBBED AT GUNPOINT

  YES THERE'S A ROBBERY IN PROGRESS BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE PALM TREES GROW LIKE WEEDS DOWN IN FLORIDA? FOLKS I GOTTA GET TO A TROPICAL CLIMATE I TELL YOU WHAT.

YES THERE'S A ROBBERY IN PROGRESS BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE PALM TREES GROW LIKE WEEDS DOWN IN FLORIDA? FOLKS I GOTTA GET TO A TROPICAL CLIMATE I TELL YOU WHAT.

JASON THE SPORTS AGENT IS WAITING TO MEET KISAN IN AN ABANDONED PLAYGROUND IN MIAMI BECAUSE WHEN KISAN WASN'T THREATENING JOE KRUTEL EARLIER HE MENTIONED HE WANTED A NEW AGENT. KISAN IS SUPER LATE THOUGH AND JASON FINDS SOME BULLET CASINGS ON A PLAYGROUND AND SAYS HEY YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BOUNCE.

BEFORE JASON CAN GET BACK TO HIS CAR HE'S APPROACHED BY TWO CHARACTERS FROM SAN FRANCISCO RUSH AND POLITELY ASKED FOR FIVE DOLLARS. JASON SAYS HERE'S FORTY DOLLARS, KINDLY TAKE YOUR INTIMIDATION ELSEWHERE. THE BAD GUYS THEN BRANDISH A WEAPON AND ASK FOR JASON'S PHONE AND JASON IS LIKE HERE'S $500 LET'S CALL IT EVEN AND THE BAD GUYS GO AWAY.

  THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!

PERSONALLY I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THE ROBBERS HERE. YOU HAVE A GUN, JASON DOES NOT. AS SUCH, YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND UNTIL JASON EITHER PROCURES YOUR GUN OR LAW ENFORCEMENT ARRIVES. AFTER YOU GET THE $500, JUST SAY OKAY NOW GIVE US YOUR PHONE AS WELL. WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO, SAY NO? SMH IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME ROBBING SOMEONE? I MEAN HONESTLY.

INEXPLICABLE BI-WEEKLY JAY GLAZER CAMEO

  STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY JAY WAS IN THIS EPISODE. MIGHT BE BECAUSE HE ROCKS THE SHIT OUT OF CUSTOM TAILORED SUITS, THE NUMBER ONE CRITERION FOR GUEST APPEARANCES.

STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY JAY WAS IN THIS EPISODE. MIGHT BE BECAUSE HE ROCKS THE SHIT OUT OF CUSTOM TAILORED SUITS, THE NUMBER ONE CRITERION FOR GUEST APPEARANCES.

JAY GLAZER TALKS EXTREMELY FAST WHICH IS PROBABLY SMART BECAUSE THEY ONLY GIVE HIM ABOUT 65 SECONDS OF SCREEN TIME EVERY OTHER WEEK. I THINK HE'S TRYING TO TELL CHARLES GREANE THAT WORKING IN A FRONT OFFICE CAN BE HAIRY BECAUSE OF ALL THE POLITICS AND WHAT NOT BUT WHO CARES LET'S DO BALLER STUFF MY GOD.

A SCENE WITH A BAG OF MONEY

  SECURE THE BAG ALERT

SECURE THE BAG ALERT

NOW WE'RE TALKIN.

JOE KRUTEL AKA JOEY MASTERATI IS QUITE UPSET THAT VERNON LITTLEFIELD CONTINUES TO SULLY HIS REPUTATION BY ENDORSING A CANNABIS COMPANY. REGGIE IS LIKE YEAH BUT LOOK AT THIS BAG OF MONEY YOU FUCKIN' DORK.

RICKY IS SEDUCED BY THE DEVILISH SERPENT KNOWN AS HIGH-STAKES GAMBLING

  WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF "LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE."

WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF "LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE."

IN THE HOURS SINCE RICKY UTTERED THE PHRASE, "I DON'T GAMBLE" HE HAS ACCRUED NEARLY HALF A MILLION DOLLARS ON THE CRAPS TABLE. THIS IS A SITUATION WORTH MONITORING.

SPENCE REKINDLES AN OLD FLAME, PART XVIII

  POTENTIAL STERILITY STILL WEIGHING ON SPENCE'S MIND? YOU TELL ME

POTENTIAL STERILITY STILL WEIGHING ON SPENCE'S MIND? YOU TELL ME

SPENCE'S STILL-UNNAMED OLD FLAME APPARENTLY WORKS FOR BIG CASINO MAN WAYNE HASTINGS JR. AND IS SKEPTICAL OF THE DUO'S ABILITY TO BRING A FOOTBALL TEAM TO LAS VEGAS. THE CONVERSATION QUICKLY PIVOTS TO THEIR OLD HOOKUPS AND THE WOMAN IS LIKE HEY WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER CALL ME AND SPENCE IS LIKE WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? CLASSIC HE-SAID-SHE-SAID STALEMATE THAT CULMINATES IN PHYSICAL PASSION.

  HELL YEA I TOOK A SCREENSHOT OF THE ROCK MAKING OUT HIS GIRL LOOK AT THOSE TRAPS YOU KIDDIN' ME SON?

HELL YEA I TOOK A SCREENSHOT OF THE ROCK MAKING OUT HIS GIRL LOOK AT THOSE TRAPS YOU KIDDIN' ME SON?

JASON AND KISAN IRON OUT THEIR MISUNDERSTANDING

JASON MEETS KISAN AT A FINE STEAKHOUSE AND SAYS HEY YOUR FRIENDS ROBBED ME WHICH WAS QUITE PRESUMPTUOUS AND DARE WE SAY RACIST SINCE THE ROBBERS SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW KISAN. TURNS OUT KISAN *DID* KNOW THE ROBBERS THOUGH SO THAT POTENTIAL STORYLINE WRAPPED ITSELF UP REAL QUICK.

SPENCE DAMN NEAR STARTS AN OLD WEST SHOOTOUT

  IF YOU EVER WANT TO RILE UP AN OIL TYCOON (THIS IS ACTUALLY A COUNCILMAN BUT HE SURE SOUNDED LIKE AN OIL TYCOON) THEN ACCUSE THEM OF PREFERRING SOCCER TO AMERICAN FOOTBAWL.

IF YOU EVER WANT TO RILE UP AN OIL TYCOON (THIS IS ACTUALLY A COUNCILMAN BUT HE SURE SOUNDED LIKE AN OIL TYCOON) THEN ACCUSE THEM OF PREFERRING SOCCER TO AMERICAN FOOTBAWL.

POST-COITUS SPENCER IS EATING DINNER WITH COUNCILMAN BOB, WHO SOUNDS LIKE HE'S FROM TEXAS BUT RESENTS SPENCER BECAUSE HE'S NOT A LOCAL. COUNCILMAN BOB IS THE MAIN GUY SPENCE NEEDS TO CONVINCE ABOUT THE WHOLE "MOVING AN NFL TEAM TO LAS VEGAS THING." 

AFTER PRESENTING A LOGICAL, IF UNCONVINCING, ARGUMENT FOR WHY LAS VEGAS NEEDS A PRO FOOTBALL TEAM, SPENCE RESORTS TO NAME-CALLING AND ACCUSES COUNCILMAN JOE OF LIKING SOCCER. COUNCILMAN BOB RESPONDS BY CALLING SPENCE A TOURIST (WHICH IS A TRUE STATEMENT) AND SPENCE IS LIKE OH I'LL SHOW YOU A FUCKIN' TOURIST, WHICH DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE BUT IF WE KEEP WATCHING I'M SURE WE'LL FIND OUT. BALLERS, ONLY ON HBO.

TRAVIS SCOTT AND CRIS CARTER DISAGREE ON WHAT RICKY SHOULD DO WITH A HALF-MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF CASINO CHIPS

  I MIGHT FAINT IF I SEE THAT FLORAL PRINT AGAIN

I MIGHT FAINT IF I SEE THAT FLORAL PRINT AGAIN

HOURS AFTER DECLARING THAT HE DOES NOT GAMBLE, RICKY JERRETT HAS TURNED $500 INTO ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN CHIPS. SOME NON-BALLER SPECTATORS ENCOURAGE HIM TO CASH OUT AND REAP THE REWARDS OF HIS GREAT LUCK. THE FAMOUS PEOPLE AT RICKY'S SIDE ARE LIKE DUDE WINNING MONEY IS GREAT PLEASE CONTINUE GAMBLING. 

RICKY CONTINUES GAMBLING.

  <FAINTS>

<FAINTS>

RICKY LOSES ALL $1 MILLION IN ONE ROLL. 

KISAN TEAGUE CONFRONTS JASON'S BULLIES LIKE IT'S AN EPISODE OF MY BROTHER AND ME

  THIS SCENE HAD A REAL SWACKHAMMER-AND-THE-MONSTARS VIBE TO IT. EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE BIGGER THAN AND OUTNUMBERED KISAN, THE BAD GUYS STILL DID WHAT HE SAID.

THIS SCENE HAD A REAL SWACKHAMMER-AND-THE-MONSTARS VIBE TO IT. EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE BIGGER THAN AND OUTNUMBERED KISAN, THE BAD GUYS STILL DID WHAT HE SAID.

FOR SOME REASON KISAN IS ALREADY FIERCELY LOYAL TO HIS POTENTIAL AGENT JASON. THIS IS CONVENIENT FOR JASON BECAUSE KISAN BRINGS HIM ALONG TO CONFRONT THE GUYS WHO ROBBED HIM EARLIER IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. 

THE BAD GUYS RUDELY RETURN JASON'S CASH, WHICH EARNS THEM A SWIFT KICK TO THE CUTLASS FROM KISAN. OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A PEACEFUL, IF DISRESPECTFUL, EXCHANGE. FEEL LIKE THE BAD GUYS SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT FIREARMS INTO PLAY HERE IDK JUST MY TAKE.

VERNON AND JOE KRUTEL ENGAGE IN A SPIRITED MORALITY DEBATE

  VERNON AND REGGIE SCOFFING AT THE NOTION OF ENDORSING A SENSIBLE SEDAN OVER CANNABIS.

VERNON AND REGGIE SCOFFING AT THE NOTION OF ENDORSING A SENSIBLE SEDAN OVER CANNABIS.

FOLKS CANNABIS IS A GATEWAY DRUG, A GATEWAY TO SIN. AND IF YOU NEED PROOF THEN LOOK NO FURTHER THAN ONCE-RESPECTED VERNON LITTLEFIELD POSING WITH TOPLESS MODELS IN AN EFFORT TO PROMOTE A WEED LIFESTYLE BRAND THAT APPARENTLY ONLY MAKES ONE COLOR OF CREWNECK SWEATSHIRT. HELL IN A HANDBASKET, I TELL YOU.

THANKFULLY CHARLES GREANE AND JOEY MASERATI ARE HERE TO RESCUE CHARLES FROM THIS LIFE OF SIN WITH AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL FOR ELECTRIC CARS. BUT STREET-WISE REGGIE SNUFFS THEM OUT--THERE IS NO CAR ENDORSEMENT DEAL AFTER ALL. BUT FOLKS IF VERNON DOESN'T STAY OFF THE WEEEEEEED-UH THEN HE MAY FIND HIMSELF SELLING IT AS HIS MAIN SOURCE OF INCOME.

ONE OF VEGAS' FAVORITE SONS*, SPENCER STRASMORE

  THERE'S A NON-ZERO CHANCE THE ROCK TOOK AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF THIS SCENE.

THERE'S A NON-ZERO CHANCE THE ROCK TOOK AN INSTAGRAM VIDEO OF THIS SCENE.

IN AN EFFORT TO CONVINCE THE IMPORTANT COUNCILMAN THAT A PRO FOOTBALL TEAM IS FEASIBLE IN LAS VEGAS, SPENCE TAKES HIM TO A MONSTER TRUCK RALLY. BUT SPENCER IS A DEFT SALESMAN, AND KNOWS HE NEEDS TO CONVINCE THE COUNCILMAN THAT THE LAS VEGAS CITIZENRY ACCEPTS HIM AS ONE OF THEIR OWN. BEST WAY TO DO THAT IS TO USE THE CONNECTIONS OF YOUR OLD FLAME TO PUT ON A CROWD-PLEASING SHOW. 

CUE THE ANNOUNCER GUY FOR THE BIG MONSTER TRUCK SHOW CALLING SPENCE "ONE OF LAS VEGAS' FAVORITE SONS" AND ALLOWING HIM TO DRIVE A FUCKING MONSTER TRUCK WITH ZERO TRAINING OR CERTIFICATION. SURELY THAT WILL CONVINCE COUNCILMAN BOB THAT PRO FOOTBALL IS FEASIBLE IN THIS TOWN.

* SPENCER'S LOOSE CONNECTION TO VEGAS IS BASED MOSTLY ON HIS OFFSEASON TRAINING THROUGHOUT HIS CAREER. BUT WHY, PRAY TELL, WOULD SPENCER TRAIN IN THE DESERT ... AT SEA LEVEL? ALL SMART ATHLETES HEAD TO THE MOUNTAINS TO GET THEIR WIND UP. MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU SUFFERED ALL THOSE INJURIES SPENCE, JEEZ DUDE. USE YOUR HEAD FOR ME ONE TIME.

GODDAMNIT RICKY JERRETT WENT TO THE ATM DIDN'T HE?

  EVEN AFTER LOSING IT ALL, RICKY'S STILL THE MOST CONFIDENT MAN IN LAS VEGAS WITH THAT SILK FLORAL PRINT WOW.

EVEN AFTER LOSING IT ALL, RICKY'S STILL THE MOST CONFIDENT MAN IN LAS VEGAS WITH THAT SILK FLORAL PRINT WOW.

LMAO RICKY "I DON'T GAMBLE" JERRETT BOUGHT IN FOR ANOTHER MILLION AND LOST IT WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO FANFARE. SPINZONE: ONLY BALLERS CAN LOSE $2 MILLION IN SIX HOURS AT THE CRAPS TABLE.

THE LAS VEGAS MONSTER TRUCK COMMUNITY IS ENRAGED AS NON-LOCAL UNINSURED FORMER FOOTBALL PLAYER MAKES A MOCKERY OF THEIR PROFESSION

  THIS IS WHERE SPENCER CASUALLY MENTIONS THAT HE DROVE THE LEGENDARY GRAVEDIGGER MONSTER TRUCK BACK IN 2012 WITH NO CONTEXT GIVEN.

THIS IS WHERE SPENCER CASUALLY MENTIONS THAT HE DROVE THE LEGENDARY GRAVEDIGGER MONSTER TRUCK BACK IN 2012 WITH NO CONTEXT GIVEN.

SOME GUY WHO *LIVES* MONSTER TRUCKS SAYS HEY SPENCE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SPENCE IS LIKE UH YEAH, WHICH IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE HARDCORE MONSTER TRUCK GUY EVEN THOUGH SPENCE WAS PRETTY CONDESCENDING ABOUT IT.

WE QUICKLY DISCOVER SPENCE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING, OTHERWISE HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE FLIPPED THE TRUCK FLAT ON ITS HEAD.

BUT THIS IS BALLERS SO EVEN THOUGH THE MAIN CHARACTER NEARLY TOTALED A MONSTER TRUCK IN FRONT OF 40,000 BEWILDERED FANS EVERYTHING WORKED OUT OKAY. 

SPENCER CRAWLS OUT OF THE OVERTURNED MONSTER TRUCK AND WITHIN MOMENTS THE EMCEE ASKS HIM WHAT HE HAS PLANNED FOR AN ENCORE, WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BE ENCOURAGING THE UNQUALIFIED MONSTER TRUCK DRIVER WHO ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF TEN SECONDS AGO TO DO SOMETHING EVEN MORE SPECTACULAR. THEN AGAIN CAUTION IS NOT BALLIN'.

SPENCER SAYS HEY I TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA BRING A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM TO LAS VEGAS, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NO SUCH AUTHORITY TO DO SO. THE CROWD GOES WILD ANYWAY, AS DO COUNCILMAN BOB AND SPENCER'S OLD FLAME/FUTURE WIFE WHOSE ESCAPES ME AT THE MOMENT.

CALL ME CRAZY, BUT I'VE GOT A FEELING THIS WHOLE LAS VEGAS ESCAPADE IS GOING TO WORK OUT FOR SPENCE AND THE BOYS. BALLERS, ONLY ON HBO.

ALL IMAGES COURTESY OF HBO FOLKS