Rim's Scoutin' Service — Lamar Jackson: Boy I Tell Ya This Kid Can Really Sling It

 Lamar Jackson gettin' ready to frickin' sling the pill right in there. That's a full-size pigskin too, folks. Hands make it look like a dang Vortex. Could bode well for the next level?? |  Photo: Orlando Sentinel

Lamar Jackson gettin' ready to frickin' sling the pill right in there. That's a full-size pigskin too, folks. Hands make it look like a dang Vortex. Could bode well for the next level?? | Photo: Orlando Sentinel

Now that Heisman Trophy-winnin’ QB Lamar Jackson declared for the NFL Draft, lotta people out there wonderin’ hey what’s it all about with this kid? He as good as Sam Darnoll? Baykuh Mayfeel? Jaw Shrosen? The kid from Wyomin’? Lotta debate out there on the web. Frickin’ Todd McShay at ESPN doesn’t have him going in the first round. Neither does CBS Sports. This guy at SBNation has him at sixth overall. Folks what’s the deal??

Here at Rim’s Scoutin’ Service we’re gonna figure this thing out. What follows is a real detailed breakdown of Jackson’s footbawl talent, from speedin’ off for a touchdown to gettin’ away from the defenders to really slingin’ it deep.

Can He Sling It?

’Course he can sling it. Hooo boy can he launch the pill. Jackson might be the only human alive who can actually throw the ball over them mountains. Quarter-mile stuff. Doesn’t even really try, either. Ball just kinda pops right outta there like one of those rubber popper things from the gumball machine that you got to keep for one day before the teacher snatched it up an’ put it in her drawer. Pop! Thing soarin’ through the air. That’s a Lamar deep ball right there.

Here he is proving the Michael Vick Powerade commercial ain’t so far-fetched:

Look at him float this baby 45 yards like it’s a dang Chinese sky lantern:

Here’s one where he just kinda goes weerrp and tosses a 45-yard TD the way you throw an egg shell in the garbage disposal except he nails it and you usually don’t.

How ’bout this one? Talk about puttin’ it where they ain’t!! I gotta tell ya, the ball just frickin’ jumps outta his hand don’t it?

Yeah But Can He Drop It In There?

Lot of folks out there talking like "tell you what I don’t know if he can really drop it in there" and this and that. Well let me tell you what: The kid can really drop it in there. Could probably throw a hole-in-one on a par 4 if you gave him a few tries. Accuracy better’n the top Battleship player on the circuit. Probably woulda made the movie a lot better, too.

Puttin’ On The Brakes

Tell you what I call this guy Akebono ’cause he’s got the best brake pads in the biz. 10/10 Mt. Rushmore Skrrt Factor. Look at him out here in high school hittin’ pause on this poor kid. Coulda got up and competed a pizza delivery transaction and still came back and scored.

Can He Scoot?

Tell you what, this kid can scoot faster than you if you were on an actual Razor scooter. Can probably do better tricks with his feet than you with your dumb scooter. ’Fore you can finish sayin’ "Yeah but I don’t want my quarterback out there runnin’ around," Jackson’s liable to peel off another quick flash to the end zone. Yeeeeeeouuuwm. Six points, just like that. More gears than your Town & Country.

Definition of scootin’ right here. He just goes yeeoup! and he’s gone. Like Jack runnin’ through the forest at the beginning of Lost but if there were no trees and a positive discovery awaited him at the end. Little stretch but the point is he was speedin’ off.

Caps this baby with a spin at the end like when you’re playin’ Madden on Xbox 360 at your house with your friend from school after an half-day and he’s used to a PS3. Just makin’ him look silly out there!

More Positives

  • Muscle definition on his arms. Biceps, triceps, deltoids, flexor extensor carpi radialis longus, all them things poppin’.
  • Hand size. Can’t succeed at the next level with small hands, that’s Pro Sports 101.

Minor Concern

  • Throwin it to the wrong team. Hey, it happens! Kid’s just tryna make a play. """You miss a hunerd percent a the shots you don’t take." - The Great One Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott"" - Rim's Scoutin’ Service. Brett Favre threw a lotta picks too, should we melt his Hall a Fame bust??

Lookin’ At The Film

Lookin’ at the film it’s prt clear Lamar Jackson is one-a the best dang QB’s you can get, end a story. Little recap: Kid can sling it, he can really drop it in there, and boy I tell you what he can really scoot. If you’re askin’ for a draft grade well then sheee I guess I gotta go with a A+ no doubt about it. Pass on him atcha own risk. Yeeeeah click-clack. |ES|