Noted Tiger Woods Apologist Comes To Grips With Reality
The Tiger Woods Comeback Tour has puttered along for three years with a fanfare-to-success ratio of about 1,000:1. His latest attempt lasted seven rounds, during which he nearly hit for the cycle of ineptitude: a second-to-last finish, a missed cut, and a withdrawal after one round.
Four of the last six posts on his website chronicle Tiger bailing on tournaments. The latest describes his reasoning for not playing in The Masters:
"I did about everything I could to play, but my back rehabilitation didn’t allow me the time to get tournament ready,” Woods said. ... “I have no timetable for my return, but I will continue my diligent effort to recover, and want to get back out there as soon as possible.
This sounds like a guy explaining to his annoying co-worker why he can't make it to Tilted Kilt after work. "Ah man, wish I could. This timesheet won't fill itself out though, you know? Maybe next time." Sincerity level = zero.
The obvious announcement came just hours after Tiger quit just five minutes into a pre-Masters practice session. To his credit, that's much longer than yours truly can last on a treadmill going 6.0 MPH. Now the hyper-competitive kid who once triggered mental breakdowns in grown men simply by making putts is a rickety old man, reduced to book signings at Barnes and Noble and putting contests on The Today Show.
We should have seen this coming ("we" being delusional idiot fanboys like myself).
A week and a half ago, just before getting clowned by a bald guy for his hair "line", Woods spoke bluntly about how fatherhood shifted his priorities away from first-pumping and paper-stacking:
Congrats on the kids and all Tiger, but if golf is — at best — an ancillary priority in your life, well then to quote Tony Kornheiser quoting Brian Orakpo, what are we even doin' out here, man?
Tiger hasn't won a major championship since my junior year of college (and it was awesome). I'm 30 years old and just now ready to admit he's much more likely to endorse a new AriZona iced tea flavor than play golf four days in a row, let alone win another tournament. Sad state of affairs. |ES|