MTV's 'The Challenge: Rivals III' Preseason Scouting Reports
Tonight is Opening Night for North America’s fifth major sport and boy are we excited. MTV’s Real World/Road Rules The Challenge* returns for yet another season, this time in Huatulco, Mexico. What does our fearless host TJ Lavin have in store for us this time around? Rivals.
Each competitor will be paired with the person from the opposite sex whom they despise the most, and asked to cooperate and compete for a huge cash prize.
Which pair of rivals will leave Mexico with the money, avoiding a life on the club appearance circuit and finally erasing their debt with their steroid dealer? Take a look at our Challenge preseason scouting reports to find out.
*This season also includes competitors from MTV’s Are You The One?, but no one knows what that is.
You've Got...No Chance! No Chance In Hell!
This is a group consisting of people no one likes and no one believes in. These rookies need to wait their turns...or just never return.
Brandon & Briana
I think these two are from Are You the One? Who knows and who cares.
Devin & Cheyenne
Christina & Nate
Who had the bright idea to bring these AYTO millennials on the show? Unreal.
Just realized we have more AYTO cast members on here than I imagined. They could easily just band together and form an immediate alliance, rending this prediction worthless. Luckily they’re just dumb kids. They won't figure it out..
Queue Up The ESPY For "Underdog of the Year"
These lovable losers have a snowball's chance in hell to win The Challenge, but we’ll sure have fun rooting for ’em!
Can any of these duos pull a George Mason and spoil the game plans of the front-runners?
Jessica & Johnny
Johnny has experienced some success in the past by staying under the radar, helping him avoid most elimination Challenges. Unfortunately for our pal Johnny, he's stuck with a big heaping pile of Southern Belle baggage. Not only is Jessica not a good competitor, she’s a horrendous drunk who annoyingly gets mad at everyone for doubting her "skills" in the Challenge. This team is toast.
Simone & Thomas
Poor Thomas. We last saw Thomas on an After Show pooping his pants in fear of being murdered by Challenge psychopath Abram. Unfortunately for Tom, his experience in Mexico won’t be much better. Thomas and Simone will skate by for a couple episodes until they inevitably bow out in the early stages.
Camilla & Tony
Everyone’s favorite crazy Brazilian firecracker, Camilla, teams up with no one’s favorite Italian douche bag, Tony. Camilla and Tony are an EXPLOSIVE team that will almost certainly have some extremely entertaining moments in the house. If this was a competition to crown the most entertaining couple, these two would be dangerous. Unfortunately for Camilla and Tony, it is not. Kiss them goodbye.
Gronk Wildcard Division
Nicole & Dario
One half of The Challenge's version of the Gronkowski brothers, Dario is a wildcard that cannot be read. As we’ve learned on the gridiron, NEVER count out a Gronkowski.
Wouldn't Be The Craziest Thing I've Ever Seen
Let’s get down to business. Anyone listed below could leave Mexico with some serious pesos.
Ashley & Cory
Smooth and Sexy Mixed Cory is back again, fresh off a second-place finish in The Challenge: Bloodlines. Although relatively new, Cory is easily one of the best athletes in Challenge history and immediately demanded respect from vets. This season Cory teams up with a Challenge rookie, Ashley, which will likely be his downfall.
KellyAnne & Jamie
KellyAnne is a Challenge veteran who has been through it all, but never quite gotten over the hump. Jamie is in his second Challenge, coming off an unprecedented win in his rookie season. The real question for this pair is, why did KellyAnne sign up to be on another show? She seems to genuinely hate these things. Cash rules everything around us, I guess.
The downfall of this team will come when KellyAnne either quits or intentionally throws herself in an elimination challenge to get sent home.
The True Challengers
The perfect mixture of athleticism, likability and political savvy. This group is full of talent and entertainment.
Jenna & Vince
Vince, whom I've nicknamed Creepy Uncle Vinny, is back to prove himself after an extremely disappointing rookie season. Luckily for Vince, he's paired for the most underrated competitor in the sport.
Jenna has been using the “I’m a cute, dumb blonde” card to her advantage for years now, but she is always there at the end. Jenna isn’t dumb at all, she knows exactly what she’s doing and has quietly become one of the most feared female players in the game. Jenna is accustomed to dominating other girls in eliminations and this season will be no different.
Averey & Leroy
Listen, no one dislikes Leroy, but MTV couldn’t have a season without its second-biggest star. Leroy is the most-liked guy in the house and is a superb athlete. Think Skinny LeBron James. You do not want to see Averey and Leroy in an elimination.
Nany & Wes
Wes is one of the true OG’s of The Challenge. He is a smart, talented competitor who also plays his housemates like a fiddle. With Wes is Nany, one of the baddest chicks in the game. Nany does. Not. Play. This is a team loaded with experience and talent. They will be there until the end.
Any time you hear that a new Challenge is starting, you immediately comb through the names of contestants, hoping and praying that you see one name: BANANAS. A living legend. Think Undertaker at WrestleMania, if Undertaker was still a dominant athlete.*
Johnny Bananas has made a career of being a Challenge contestant and is a staple of the bi-annual competitions. The man has won five Challenges and lost in the finals twice, racking up more than $400,000. Not only is Johnny one of the best in the business, he's paired up with arguably the best female competitor. It’s like if you were playing a pickup basketball game in the 90's and somehow Michael Jordan and Lisa Leslie ended up on the same team. It’s not even fair.
* Please ignore this hilarious video of Johnny Bananas getting worn like a backpack by the real G.O.A.T CT... |ES|
All images courtesy of MTV.com.