'MTV's The Challenge: Invasion' Episode 1 Recap

The Challenge is back for its 29th season and folks, we are in for one hell of a ride.

This season starts with 18 “Underdogs” arriving in Thailand for what they think is a Challenge consisting entirely of competitors that have never won before (also known as "losers"). Finally, the playing field is even and they’ll each have a chance to take home some money!

Little do these idiots know, my man TJ Lavin really outdid himself this time with the crazy game twists. Waiting patiently for these Underdogs are eight former “Champions” from season's past, ready to rip their heads off. God, I love TJ Lavin.

 The most intense man in show business, TJ Lavin. |  MTV

The most intense man in show business, TJ Lavin. | MTV

Here's what we know about the game so far:

  • Eighteen Underdogs will spend the first part of this Challenge in what is known as THE SHELTER. The Shelter is some ol' bull shit straight out of Survivor
  • Eight Underdogs will move on to THE OASIS. TJ promises The Oasis is the paradise they all thought they were signing up for.
  • Underdogs will face off in challenges with the female and male winners of the day cashing their tickets to The Oasis.
    • The male and female competitors that finish last will automatically be sent to elimination.
    • The rest of the cast then votes on one male and one female who will also be sent into that week’s elimination, with girls voting for guys and vice versa.
  • The male and female winners of the elimination earn a spot in The Oasis, with the loser being sent home.
  • The eight Underdogs that win spots in The Oasis will presumably then take on the eight Champions.
  • Four Underdogs and four Champions will make the finale.

I’ll be honest with you, folks. These Underdogs, for the most part, suck. They don’t know the game, they aren’t good at the game and they’re all walking around like their shit don’t stink. Before we take a look at who is safe, here are a few Random AB Challenge Thoughts:

  • Lot of uh ... how do I say this nicely? ... trashy Jersey Shore girls here. Haven’t heard dialogue like this since RAHN AND SAM.
  • These Champions could not show up ANY SOONER. The Challenge is in deep trouble if they can’t find better contestants than the talent pool coming from the current Real World and Are You The One? seasons. Once the Challenge OG’s start to retire in the next five years, this show's quickly going to become unwatchable.
  • Tony, the guy who was booted off the last Challenge for being too drunk all the damn time, has somehow transformed into the wise elder statesmen of this season. Sober Tony is kind of awesome.
  • Yoooo why didn’t y’all tell me MTV has a show coming out called “Stranded With A million Dollars”? Apparently they throw a bunch of people on an island with a million dollars and then slowly bleed all the money away by enticing them with different delicacies. I'M ALL IN.
  • So apparently while these Underdogs fight for a chance to compete for the money, the Champions were just locked away in an Ivan Drago Russian workout facility preparing to destroy them.
  • Theo, a former football player, mentions that he thought he would be in the NFL right now if it hadn’t have been for a run-in with the law. Our thorough investigative research concludes this was never a possibility.
  • Can we all agree Nelson is the absolute worst? This guy stinks. He’s trying to be the new Black Johnny Bananas. It isn’t working bud.
  • Bruno apparently is homeless. Listen, who am I to shit on someone’s homelessness? But let’s just say ... with the effort you put in on the Challenge, it doesn’t surprise me much.
 Homeless man quits risk-free competition with cash prize. |  MTV

Homeless man quits risk-free competition with cash prize. | MTV

So far we have half of the Underdog Oasis team determined. Dario and Nicole won this week’s challenge, where contestants had to climb a big dirt wall and then dig under an even bigger dirt wall ... idk? Kinda lame challenge.

Things heated up during the elimination where Kailah and Tony were victorious over Marie and Homeless Bruno. Hopefully this elimination was a sign of things to come this season, with more physical showdowns instead of the puzzle-based nonsense of recent seasons.

I wouldn’t let my kid play football but I love when they break out the football pads and bust heads on the Challenge. 

Safe: Dario, Nicole, Kailah (elimination winner), Tony (elimination winner)
Eliminated: Marie, Bruno |ES|