‘Game of Thrones’ Recap - Season 6 Episode 8: “Arya Stark and a Semester Abroad”

(aka “The Episode Remembered By NO ONE.” LOL!)

Was this the worst episode of Game of Thrones ever? It sure as hell felt like it at times, but judging by the preview for next week’s episode, it was always going to be quickly forgotten.

Don’t get me wrong, though — the scenes with the Hound damn near made the rest of the episode worth it.

Let’s break this down like Tyrion explaining why jokes are funny to a couple slaves. (Yep. That was a thing that happened this episode.)

Riverrun (Jamie Lannister, The Blackfish, Brienne of Tarth, Podrick Payne, Bronn, Edmure Tully, etc.)

 For a guy who regularly has sex with his sister, Jamie’s pretty rational in everyday conversation. | HBO

For a guy who regularly has sex with his sister, Jamie’s pretty rational in everyday conversation. | HBO

The Riverrun story did a great job of building up to nothing. 

Blackfish, the guy who we all made a big fuss about last week, is already dead — killed off-screen after refusing to help his only living relative win back what rightfully belonged to her (Winterfell).

Jamie’s done his duty to Cersei by reclaiming Riverrun, so what’s next? Head back to King’s Landing? What happens then? Get sent somewhere else? 

Why is Jamie still just Cersei’s errand boy? 

He never misses an opportunity to mention he’d do anything for her, but anytime he’s not acting on one of her direct orders, he seems to be a lot more calm and rational than she is. So, should we expect him to start questioning her down the line? Or is he going to go down defending the woman (sister) he loves?

Mereen (Tyrion Lannister, Varys, Missandei, Grey Worm, Dany[!])

 Remember when we used to like this character? Yeah, me too. | HBO

Remember when we used to like this character? Yeah, me too. | HBO

I can say with 1000% certainty that the scene with Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandei was the worst in this show’s history. Yes. Even worse than anything with Sam and Gilly.

But it’s close.

Anyway, the Masters are attacking Mereen because they want their slaves back. Danaerys just happens to show up on one of her dragons as things are getting really bad, but that’s all we see.

Out of the frying pan and into the equally boring frying pan, I guess.

King’s Landing (Cersei Lannister, King Tommen Baratheon, The Mountain, Faith Militant and other people it doesn’t make sense for you to know the names of)

  Cersei wins. Fatality.  | HBO

Cersei wins. Fatality. | HBO

The Mountain (Gregor Clegane) did his best Sub-Zero impression and ripped off a dude’s head along with his spine, showing the Faith Militant that Cersei Lannister ain’t nothing to fuck with.

At least not physically.

Because then we found out that Cersei won’t be able to enter the Mountain into a trial by combat to prove her innocence in whatever her court trial is.

Luckily, her plan B is just as gruesome and catastrophic. She seems to be scheming to kill the large majority of people in King’s Landing using the wildfire hidden in various parts of the city.

Her informant guy only mentions that the rumor she’d heard was true and there was “a great deal more than expected” or something like that.

Really only one thing he could be talking about, IMO. I say bring it on. We gotta get this storyline going somewhere interesting.

Braavos (Arya Stark, The Waif, Jaquen Ha’ager)

 How I imagine the directors talking to this actress: “You’re doing great, but see if you can act any more like a Terminator sent back to Medieval Times.” | HBO

How I imagine the directors talking to this actress: “You’re doing great, but see if you can act any more like a Terminator sent back to Medieval Times.” | HBO

First off, to all you nerds out there who thought it wasn’t the real Arya that got stabbed at the end of last episode: LOL! YOU WERE WRONG! I DEFINITELY WAS RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME AND NEVER FELL INTO YOUR CONSPIRACY THEORIST WAY OF THINKING.

Um, yeah. Anyway…

After three seasons, I guess we found out Arya can now fight in the dark. Seriously? This storyline felt like such a cop-out. 

We knew Arya was never going to be able to lose her Stark identity, but to have her just kind of “Peace Out” of the House of Black and White without learning how to turn into someone else or kill their leader just makes everything that happened here feel like she was on a shitty summer abroad program.

Oh, and don't get me started on how you can get stabbed in the abdomen, have the knife twisted, survive a 30-foot fall and yet still somehow manage to defend yourself against a trained killer.

Damn, this was dumb.

On the bright side, next week’s episode is “The Battle of the Bastards.” Ladies and gentlemen, #BASTARDBOWL is upon us at long last. |ES|

 via  Reddit

via Reddit