Dispatches From The LeBron Army: We Are Weary, My Dearest Martha, And Morale Is Waning

LeBron Civil War 2.jpg

My dearest Martha,

The indications are strong that our present conflict will cease within a fortnight. We have taken lightly our hardy foes, fervent men from Indiana, and our collective strength is dwindling. A spirited foreigner called Bojan dealt the heaviest blows of the skirmish, and in minutes our advantage disappeared. Morale is steady, for now, but a long offseason awaits.

Martha, for fifteen winters and fifteen springs I have followed our leader General James through snow and swamp. While I harbor no reservation about or apprehension for his cause, I must admit fear of his surrender comes creeping over me on occasion. The thought alone is a weight upon my soul.

It seems our failings mount each day. In areas we were once mighty, we are now hopelessly weak. We seldom fortify our defensive position, and dissension simmers among our colonel ranks. General James himself — weary though he may be — endangered his infantryman at a critical hour in our most recent battle. Yet in times when I lack confidence in the general, memories of the blissful moments he has provided bring me solace, however brief.

There are murmurings among the soldiers that he may move us to Philadelphia in the coming months, though others maintain our destination is to the former Mexico. Wheresoever the journey so takes us, I long to recapture the golden triumphs of yesteryear. Indeed, this campaign has been filled with more highs than lows, and I am not yet ready to abandon the cause.

Beloved Martha, on the chance a bloody end is to be my fate, I feel impelled to make clear my deepest feeling for you.

O, Martha! My love for you is uninterrupted, and while our time apart seems unending, know it is destiny for us to unite again, in this life or the next. General James has before routed the odds, and though sufferings lay ahead, I know they will be but scrapes and memories when I reach your arms once again.

Very truly yours,

Tim
First lieutenant, LeBron James Army

 General James is faltering, dear Martha, but we trust he will rout the odds once more.

General James is faltering, dear Martha, but we trust he will rout the odds once more.