'Ballers' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: "No Money, Mo Problems"
After his unceremonious firing from Anderson Financial, the jig appears to be up for Spencer Strasmore. Perhaps his Plan B includes carving out a modest lifestyle as a local sideline reporter or medical supplies salesman, keeping up appearances while leaving his baller ways behind.
Or he could shoot straight to Plan Z, a far riskier but infinitely more balling option. LET'S DO PLAN Z!
Spencer And A Woman Whose Name I Do Not Recall
Talk about a forgettable relationship. Has this character been in any scenes other than the one where she tells Spencer she got a job at ESPN? And wasn’t that like six episodes ago? Girl go on then. Quit this charade. Spence ain’t visiting you in Connecticut, not even if you buy his plane ticket. He’d just trade it for some pills with a shady dude beneath an overpass.
Ricky Jerret, Diligent Financial Investor
It stands to reason that Spence would go to Ricky's house to reveal the bad news in person. "I'm not licensed by the NFLPA and I got fired last night. The dream is dead. Time for me to move on and pursue something else in life." This is what should have happened.
But that would not be balling, not in the least. So the completely broke Spence asks Ricky for $12 million so he can purchase his old company. This is like if someone was voted off Survivor then tried to borrow money from one of the remaining contestants so they could buy the island. That's not how it works!
(Hey also, when does Spence actually manage any money? I’m not sure he even owns a computer. Lenny Dykstra is a more convincing finance guy.)
Travis Mack Puts On A Suit For Once In His Life
At it's core, Ballers is about dudes getting fitted for nice suits. Even Travis Mack, who probably cuts old jeans into jorts using the edge of a shattered beer bottle.
Though Spencer and Jason have been working with Travis for months, they apparently waited until two hours before his interviews with NFL owners to discuss his hilariously checkered past. Should be enough prep, since apparently these pre-draft interviews are take place over poolside drinks because Miami.
The most illuminating part of this exchange is Travis' insistence that, while he can be a dick, he is definitely not an asshole. Took me by surprise, as I have those two flipped in my Adjectives For Rude Males Power Rankings.
Just A Little $9 Million Spat Between Friends
Hey Charles, rule number one of having a real job: don't tell your boss something that isn't true.
Chuck pulled some strings with Alonzo's contract to make room for Ricky to stay in Miami, which Ricky was stoked about for precisely two seconds because this is a TV show and wouldn't you know it St. Louis wants to bury Ricky in gold. So Charles follows up the first good thing he's done as assistant to the general manager by confirming to his boss Ricky's desire to re-sign with the Dolphins. The resulting quarrel was so serious that Charles left a restaurant before his food arrived.
Their reconciliation occurred at the top of a staircase outside a second-floor bathroom, just like it did with your high school girlfriend. Ricky's staying in Miami and Charles can rest easy knowing he probably won't be fired for gross incompetence.
The Draft Party
As draft parties go, this one was pretty tame. Would have been a lot better with Travis' backwoods swamp uncles creeping out the females while sipping homemade moonshine out of a barrel. Biggest missed opportunity of the season.
With apparently minimal thought and consideration, Ricky decides to dump $5 million into Spence's AFM pipe dream acquisition. This will for sure end will for all parties involved!
After months of hand-wringing and personal revelations (thievery, weak arms, and, you know, dyslexia), Travis Mack realizes his NFL dream when the Baltimore Ravens draft him with the sixth overall pick. It's a genuinely great moment for Travis, Spencer, and Joe, immediately ruined by the big mouth of Terrell Suggs. Hey uh, Sizzle ... you mind not announcing Spencer's firing to the crowd? Kind of revealed the guy's darkest secret in front of everyone.
P.S. Vernon still exists. His Cowboys drafted another defensive lineman, potentially as a replacement for the injury-hiding would-be llama owner. And Reggie was nowhere to be found during this time of crisis. Vintage Reg. |ES|