Music Review: The Freedom Kids - 'The Official Donald Trump Jam' (w/ lyrics)

The music world was #blessed this afternoon with an unexpected jam courtesy of the Freedom Kids*.

The first (and only) track off their debut album features guest appearances by most grandparents in Pensacola. In front of an initially skeptical crowd, the Freedom Kids won the hearts of everyone in the arena with a performance that was equal parts scintillating and adorable.

But there are stern (subliminal?) warnings embedded it this optimistic rally cry. "Deal from strength or get crushed every time," reminds us all that, no matter who you are negotiating with, you always have to take their oil and make them pay for the wall. Always.

Crunk music enthusiasts may also recognize "Over here, over there," an homage to the great Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz.

To avoid expensive revisions, the songwriters just decided to refer to Donald as "President Donald Trump" ten months before the election. Disagree with this power move if you like, but you will be forced to forfeit your oil. That's just part of the deal.

Perhaps you think the Freedom Kids are too young to be force-fed political opinions, but keep in mind this trio is virtually guaranteed steady work for the next 32 years. (The rules are about to change, FYI). Expect the Freedom Kids at every White House function, United Nations meeting, and Victoria's Secret Fashion Show until long after this country recaptures its greatness.

In this reviewer's opinion, I must tell you they'll be fantastic, they really will.

Grade: A+

Lyrics

Cowardice
Are you serious?
Apologies for freedom
I can't handle this!

When freedom rings
Answer the call!
On your feet
Stand up tall!
Freedom's on our shoulders
U.S.A.!

Enemies
Our freedom
Face the music
Come on boys, take em down!
President Donald Trump knows how
To make America great
Deal from strength or get crushed every time!

(spontaneous dance)

Over here (U.S.A.!)
Over there (U.S.A.!)
Freedom and liberty
Everywhere
Oh, say can you see
It's not so easy
But we have to stand up tall and
Answer freedom's call

(remix to previous spontaneous dance)

U.S.A.! (U.S.A.!)
U.S.A.! (U.S.A.!)
We're the land of the free and the home of the brave
U.S.A.!
The stars and stripes are flying
Let's celebrate our freedom
Inspire proudly freedom to the world

Ameri-tude (U.S.A.!)
American pride (U.S.A.!)
It's attitude
It's who we are
Stand up tall!
We're the red, white and blue
(Fiercely free, that's who!)
Our colors don't run, no siree!

(gravity-defying dance finale)

Over here (U.S.A.!)
Over there (U.S.A.!)
Freedom and liberty
Everywhere
Oh, say can you see
It's not so easy
But we have to stand up tall and
Answer freedom's call

(approving nods and tepid applause)

* Group name unconfirmed. |ES|

 The Lollipop Kids were reportedly livid about losing their top spot in the munchkin musical trio power rankings.

The Lollipop Kids were reportedly livid about losing their top spot in the munchkin musical trio power rankings.

MusicTimdonald trump