There Are No Good Reasons To Pay Money To Watch Tiger And Phil Horse Around On An Empty Golf Course

The day after Thanksgiving, when the typical golf fan (as imagined by the marketing agencies for companies that advertise during golf events) is dragging the artificial Christmas tree out from above his three-car garage while trying not to scratch his Buick Encore with the Werner ladder he got himself for Father’s Day, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson will face off in a pay-per-view match play event for $9 million, winner take all. In an effort to differentiate the contest from all others, it’s being billed as “The Match”. Indeed, there have been many matches in many sports, but this ... this is The Match (presented by Capital One). It says so on the cable guide.

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Duplicitous MoviePass Dog May Soon Be Out Of A Job

MoviePass, the subscription-based movie ticketing service whose continued existence defies the rules of free-market capitalism, has resorted to outright pandering. In the fifteen months since dropping their unlimited ticket rate to an absurd $9.95 per month, the company has severely limited viewings, increased prices, added clumsy photo requirements, banned repeat viewings, implemented surge pricing, and ended theater partnerships, not in that order and usually without warning. No business in the history of civilized society, I’m confident, has yanked their customers around as frequently and inconsiderately as MoviePass.

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At This Rate Manny Machado Will Soon Be Stuffing $100 Bills Into The Mouths Of His Opponents

Dodgers’ shortstop Manny Machado is the best player on the team he’s attempting to lead to a World Series championship. He’ll also be a free agent the moment the series ends, with the potential to sign the largest contract in American sports history. These are conditions under which someone should aim to be on their absolute best behavior.

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A Useless, Belated Preview Of An Utterly Pointless NBA Regular Season

If your view of the pro basketball boils down to, “We know who’s going to win, so what does it matter?”, then I have no compelling rebuttal. On the one hand, the NBA is chaos. Every day, every year, something previously unimaginable materializes (the above photo, for example). Yes, all the commotion eventually gives way to the certainty of the finale. But the spectacle is still worth observing, particularly the seven random things I chose to write about below.

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This Single Frame From The 'Widows' Trailer Is Enough To Get Me In The Theater Opening Night

A disturbing trend in movie trailers — other than the occasional full revealing of the entire plot — is the inclusion of scenes that don’t even make the final cut of the film. If this happens with one particular moment in next month’s heist thriller Widows, I will hold a personal grudge against the persons involved in the decision for the rest of my days.

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On 'Manifest', The Only Thing That Makes Sense Is The Missing Plane

In the series premiere of NBC’s Manifest, a commercial airplane takes off from Jamaica in April 2013, hits some turbulence, and lands in New York City in November 2018. It’s an alluring hook, reminiscent, of course, of the landmark LOST. What happened to the plane? How will the world react? How will the passengers get on with their lives? Thirty seconds into the trailer I was ready to burn hours sleuthing supernatural theories on Reddit.

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New Yorkers Were Jarringly Ungrateful To The Ghostbusters For Saving Their City From Total Annihilation

Five years removed from saving New York City — and likely the whole of humanity — from certain doom at the hands of interdimensional demon god Gozer the Gozerian (later Gozer the Destructor in the form of a hundred-foot marshmallow man), the Ghostbusters have been compensated for their bravery in the form of lawsuits, bankruptcy, and skepticism. For this reason alone, the first act of Ghostbusters II is nothing short of an outrage.

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So This Is What The New Milennium Brings Us: Old Broadcasters Lamenting Extravagant Ring Walks

One of my earliest memories of boxing on HBO was Naseem Hamed’s much-hyped United States debut against Kevin Kelley in 1997. It’s unlikely I would remember this match if not for Prince Naseem’s absurd five-minute shadow dance behind a curtain, causing both my dad and curmudgeonly commentator Larry Merchant to grouse about the arrogance of athletes these days. Rewatching Hamed’s entrance reminded me of some of the other wildly entertaining ring walks complemented by the equally entertaining comments of old grumps.

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Tiger Woods Wasn't Sure To Do With His Hands

Tiger Woods won the Tour Championship (apparently stylized as TOUR Championship even though it’s not an acronym) yesterday, his first victory since August 2013. During that gap, injuries and surgeries and scandals transformed his career into a depressing sideshow, a fading phenom left muttering to himself on the side of the road like an out-of-work Ron Burgundy. For more than four years, he was irrelevant and, to hear him tell it, nearly crippled.

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It Would Behoove Opposing Teams To Tackle Patrick Mahomes Immediately Upon The Snap Of The Ball

The Los Angeles Chargers made several critical errors in their contest against the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday: Receivers dropped would-be touchdown passes, returners muffed kicks, and punters willingly sent balls in the direction of a player nicknamed “Cheetah”. But the most grievous blunder was made by the Chargers’ defensive players, who failed to tackle Patrick Mahomes immediately upon the snap of the ball.

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In ‘Blank Check’, A Series Of Easily Preventable Calamities Leads To A Baffling Moment Of Romance

Most decisions made by the adult characters in 1994’s Blank Check are illogical at best and often utterly incomprehensible. Which is fine! “Preteen boy lives out wildest fantasy while suffering almost no consequences for his actions” was practically an entire movie genre in the 90’s. We can’t have mature adults smothering all the fun with their coherence and rational thinking.

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