"Kisses Used To Mean Something Around Here!" | Rosecast 'Bachelor' S22 E3 Recap

It was a tough week for Arie guys such as ourselves. Our fearless lead just kind of floated through the episode, showing little interest in the group date activities and spending more than half of his alone time with his lips locked with the nearest warm body. Not even comedy legend Fred Willard could save one of the two disastrous group dates, which were not nearly as fun as Chris promised. Plus: Lauren's trainwreck of a one-on-one and the newest Annaliese phobia.

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"Shout Out Cardi B" | Rosecast S22 E2 Recap

Arie's second episode included some truly head-scratching one-on-one dates. Between Becca's jaw-dropping sugar daddy date and Krystal's private jet visit to Arie's hometown, it felt like ABC accidentally aired Week 8 instead of Week 2. Plus: Are we willing to make light of an alleged childhood bumper car trauma? And should ABC blur out some of the more intense makeout sessions?

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"An Ace Up Her Sleeve" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 Finale Recap

Emily's breakup with Arie was truly heartbreaking. But as she wept and he held back tears, Rim and AB wonder why he didn't see it coming. Plus: What has Emily been up to since breaking things off with Jef, this season's winner? (The way I wrote that sentence makes it seem as if Emily is our guest on this episode. She is not.) Also, Rim was apparently not speaking directly into the mic (rookie move smh) so he hereby apologizes for that. Thanks for listening. 

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"They Were Offered No Snacks!" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E6 Recap

Halfway through the season, Emily's patience is wearing thin. On two one-on-one dates, our lead refuses to award roses to both Friend Zone Travis and Ryan the trophy hunter. Will Arie, Jef, and Sean capitalize on their improved odds, or does John (?) have something up his sleeve?

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"Yeah, Not Gonna Apologize" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E5 Recap

Our biggest takeaways from this episode are 1) we need to get to London and 2) maybe don't besmirch the name of your potential future stepdaughter? Helicopter Kalon dug deep in the mud of the latter, and in the process got himself tossed off the show like a basketball coach who gets two quick technical fouls on purpose so he can make a dinner reservation. Also of note: Arie and Emily make out again. 

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"Doug's Not About To Get Bottle Service" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E4 Recap

Mr. "I Have Kids Okay!?" himself Doug manages to secure a one-on-one date rose from Emily, while the A-team trips over themselves scrambling for her attention on a nautical group date. Plus: the most pointless two-on-one in show history.

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"First Selfless, Then Cowardice" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E3 Recap

Recall the most impressive fireworks show you've ever seen. Something similar happened at the conclusion of Arie and Emily's first one-on-one date on a carousel in Dollywood, a theme park dedicated to a country music megastar whose work we are unfamiliar with

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"I'd Be Mad Too" | Rosecast 'Bachelorette' S8 E2 Recap

The second episode of Emily's season has less Arie, less Jef, and almost no Sean Lowe. Instead, we were treated to a one-on-one date of Emily basically running errands and some "back at the house" confrontation between a dude who is a dad and a different dude who is not a dad. Thrilling stuff.

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"Real Love" | Rosecast 'Bachelor In Paradise' Finale Recap

'Bachelor In Paradise' ended the way it began: with demonstrations of actual love. In between, of course, a lot of muckety-muck went down, and you can bet your bottom dollar Rim and AB discussed all of it.

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